Handling Negative Criticism
We all know someone we would rather not have to deal with. Nothing you do can please him or her. After encounters with our critics we can feel drained and pressured at times. People have a way of being harsh with others for a variety of reasons such as jealousy or selfishness. We also need to escape the trap of being over critical of ourselves. This may be a function of others' criticism of us. They may no longer be around but we use what they said to continually beat ourselves up.
Keeping this in mind, we have to be clear that one should know the difference between constructive criticism and bashing. Both can be insulting and make you feel horrid about yourself. Constructive criticism is not always positive because of the negative spirit that it is given in, however, there is truth to the comment and it would benefit you to use this truth to improve yourselves without taking it to heart.
Bashing is not in anyway constructive. There is no attempt to give advice on how to improve. A portion of the time it is not painted with even the slightest coat of truth. It is personal and a great example of people judging you and reacting to you based on their jealousy, insecurities or dislike of you.
There are a variety of things we could do to counter bashing and handle negative criticism:
1. Recognise bashing for what it is. That is a personal and sometimes malicious attempt to malign us, our character, motives or actions. Realise that this person may not be giving criticism to make you better but out of jealousy at your position or achievements or because they are insecure of themselves.
2. Do not dwell on it. This applies for all types of criticism but especially bashing and negative criticism. Some of us are born with the in-bred desire to please others. Therefore, with negative criticism comes the potential to feel guilty. While you may listen to the criticism do not take it to heart.
3. Focus on your good qualities instead. Take this time to highlight your good qualities to determine that there is no merit in the criticism.
4. Reflect on your actions. In a lot of cases the criticism may be based on some morsel of truth. In that case, ask yourself if you were wrong in your course of action or if you made a mistake. If you owned up to that mistake, learn from it and move on. If you did not then ignore the comment.
5. Try to avoid interacting with these critics. They are venomous and allowing such negativity into your life on a regular basis will only bring you down.
6. When you do have to deal with them reassure yourself of your self-worth. Take some time to boost your self-esteem and reassure yourself before you encounter these harsh critics.
7. When you have found someone close to you being that negative, you should speak to them about it. Do this in a non-confrontational manner. You may want to write down what you want to say so that you can ensure that you come across confident yet respectful. Then if there is no change in behaviour, you can minimize contact with that person.
These suggestions are not exhaustive, but I hope that this has encouraged you to find better ways to deal with negative criticism as opposed to getting down on yourself or getting angry which never help your self-esteem in the long run.
