Showing The Disabled Love

Michael was smart, had a great sense of humour and was a real good listener. Jane was talented, had dreams of owning her own company and was a great cook. Very few people get to see this side of either of them due to the fact that for most people it is hard to see past their disability.

For many who live day to day with moderate to severe disabilities, life’s road can be a long and lonely one. They face being the brunt of jokes, unpleasant and condescending stares and often blatant discrimination. These can make being disabled quite a burden.

For years, these challenges would have caused people in our society to hide away in their own corner seeking to avoid the stigma and reproach of not being “ordinary’. There has been some discussion recently about incorporating some of the disabled within the general population of the education system here in Barbados, therefore, it would be timely to examine ways we could make this transition easier for both the disabled and ourselves.

Compassion

Compassion is not about grand displays or gestures, it’s role is to show understanding and respect to others in this life who may be enduring something that we ourselves cannot understand.

Many of us cannot imagine the issues faced by the disabled or what it’s like to have a disability. Accepting our incapability of understanding the plight of the disabled is one step towards showing them empathy without being condescending.

Secondly, accept that they are human just like the rest of us. Our school system can be tough for any one who appears different and even tougher for the disabled. Therefore, if you have them in your class or you meet them at some point avoid staring at or pointing out their disability, and do not speak to them as though they are idiots drawing further negative attention to them.

When we look at the disabled with pity or speak to them in condescending tones, as many people are prone to do inadvertently, we are communicating that they should be ashamed for something that they have no control over, making their already hard path harder. This also shows that we feel somewhat better than them and adds to their discomfort and unease.

Make the disabled more comfortable:

No baby talk – Talk to them how you want people to speak to you. Don’t talk down to them or assume that they can’t understand you.

Extend a warm hand of welcome – A handshake will go a long way toward making others feel accepted. Treat them like you would any other new friend.

Spend time and be personally acquainted with them – Being exposed to someone more and more makes it easier for you to understand and accept that person. Therefore, get to know people who are disabled. If you meet any don’t be afraid to become their friend. Get to know their feelings and thoughts and aspirations and allow them to get to know you as well. Spend time with them, sharing in fun activities as much as possible like maybe hanging out with them on breaks at school or outside of school.

Assist them wherever possible – Allow them to get on the bus and have a seat first, understanding their need may be greater in the case of a great physical disability; help them with their homework in the case of a learning disability – this helps them learn and helps you be able to express yourselves and what you have learnt to others; help others understand that the disabled – whether they have a physical, obvious disability or a less obvious or life altering disability – are just like us.

Being disabled should not be a sentence to a life of stigma and ridicule and we have a great opportunity in Barbados to make the disabled feel more apart of society. Extending a handshake or smile may seem a small act but it goes a long way to easing the discomfort they may feel at participating in the general population. So don’t be afraid to show some kindness to everyone today, including the disabled.