Self-Talk: The Power Of One

Have you ever found yourself in a position in which you were asked by some incredulous individual, “Wait! You’re talking to yourself?”

I think that we can all recall hearing it said, that talking to oneself is a sign of madness. Have you completely accepted this notion? From your experience, do you find such an assessment to be correct?

Let’s look at everyday decision-making for example – from choosing to wear a particular outfit to deciding what courses to take, to deciding on a career. While indeed the dialogue with oneself is often completely inward and silent, there are times that we externalize this dialogue and reason out loud.

In truth, we talk to ourselves constantly and sometimes in doing so we speak out loud in order to:

The foregoing are just some practical examples of the power of self-talk. However, there is an area of self talk which is perhaps overarching and has an impact on our capacity to utilize personal dialogue towards the previously mentioned ends.

If you were to assess yourself for the kind of language that you speak towards yourself or if you were to assess the words used by some of your friends as they speak about themselves, what would you find?

Have you ever heard yourself or others say any of the following?

The list could go on forever but the key question to ask ourselves is whether these thoughts are empowering and whether they add to our capacity to become our best selves. Further, we need to enquire into what kind of emotions develop within us as a consequence of these kinds of thoughts. Do we gain from them inspiration, energy, and joy or do we feel discouraged, sad, depressed, tearful and fearful about engaging the many wonderful, growth-producing experiences that life has to offer?

You might perhaps say that these kinds of statements are simply the truth of the matter. But is this truly so? They may only be true insofar as they are reflective of a negative mindset that has perhaps become too much of a way of life.

What if we said instead:

Try contrasting your negative self-statements with more positively framed ones as suggested in the foregoing examples. Say each out loud and note the difference in your spirit and emotional tone. Determine which statements encourage you to go forward positively and which ones make you feel deflated and discouraged. Bear in mind though, that saying positive statements will only improve your mental and spiritual health if you truly are in the process of backing up these statements by growth-oriented behaviours that make the positive thoughts and talk a fully living reality.

The challenge is then, not only to speak life-giving or life-enhancing words to yourself but to perform the actions which actualize your positive thoughts. You may make some missteps but journaling your goals, tracking your progress and making the necessary adjustments in a spirit of self-directed kindness helps to reinforce your commitment to stay the course. Positive trusted friends can also help you stay on track as they give valuable feedback on their perceptions of your progress and they too might be inspired.