Self-forgiveness – Give Yourself A Break!
Have you ever noticed that there are many people who are willing to forgive others but not themselves? Don't you believe you should allow yourself the same compassion and mercy you show to others?
When you've made mistakes – whether they be killing your neighbour's cat or purposely spreading a nasty rumour about one of your friends – instead of dwelling on feelings of guilt and anger, FORGIVE yourself. I'm not saying you should not feel remorse or accept the consequences of your actions. In fact, these can make the process of self-forgiveness a little easier because you won't be as inclined to indulge in self-loathing.
Don't beat up yourself over your mistakes for too long. It's perfectly normal to be angry at yourself when you've done something detestable that contradicts your values. In fact, if you never felt guilt, that might be a sign that you're a sociopath so a little regret is normal and acceptable. It becomes an issue when it emotionally drains you for an extended period of time and you can't seem to move on with your life.
It is not good for your mental, physical or spiritual well-being to harbour negative emotions. Your stress levels will go up, leading to physical health problems, such as headaches and high blood pressure. You might not notice these issues manifest themselves while you're young but a lifetime of this stress could seriously impair your health in the long run. Why not learn how to cope with your mistakes now?
LEARN from your past actions through self-awareness and introspection. Reflect on why you made the mistake and how you could have dealt with the situation so that there would have been a better outcome. For example, you may have spread a nasty rumour about your friend because you were jealous of her and felt inadequate in areas in which she has been successful. The next time you feel envious of her accomplishments, think of how you can work on your own development to boost your self-esteem and make an effort to stop competing with her.
If you're angry at yourself over a less than honourable habit, determine what situations, mindsets or emotions normally cause you to do this action time and again. Then, think of how you could avoid the trigger for this action, i.e. remove yourself from the situation. If the trigger is an unavoidable aspect of your life – such as a cantankerous relative you live with – come up with methods to cope with it that are aligned with your values and your morals.
However, if you are so consumed with guilt that you become chronically depressed or angry and your emotions feel overwhelming, perhaps it's time you received some professional help; you could consult your guidance counsellor or a psychologist to help you through the process.
The most important thing to remember is that you are human, thus not perfect. Hold yourself to high standards but not impossible ones. LOVE yourself unconditionally – flaws and all – and self-forgiveness will come more naturally.
Stumble It!
