What To Do When Your Friend's A Bully

School can be harsh, the workplace can be harsh. In fact, anywhere several personalities collide can be an unpleasant place. For their own entertainment or gain, bullies try to mistreat those they see as weaker physically and mentally. This phenomenon does not disappear once you have moved on from school to the workplace. It can be even worse with workmates being threatened by the presence and ideas of a new member of staff.

Can you imagine seeing someone bullied and not doing anything about it if you could? Many of us are in this same position when our friend is physically or verbally abusing someone else. Sometimes instead of sharing a word with that friend we turn a blind eye. However, if you don't use your influence on the bully to help their victim, I put it to you that you are as guilty as they are.

You may not want to upset your friend, or maybe you feel it’s none of your business. But either way you ignore the abuse that your friend is meting out. Here are some steps to influence your friend to stop being a bully.

1. Have a quiet word – You don’t have to confront your friend at the same time in front their victim. After work or school, when you are hanging out, you could calmly tell your friend that what they are doing to others is wrong. Encourage them to see the effects that their actions have on others and show them that they should try seeing things from other people’s point of view. Tell them the effect the bullying has on you and show them that they don’t need to be bullies.

2. Take a stand – Show them that there are consequences to being a bully and that having no friends is one that they would have to be willing to accept because someone with a balanced self-esteem would seek to be around someone who builds people up, not tear them down. Allow them to know that in light of your own discomfort, that if their bullying continues that you would take a break from the friendship.

3. Be true to your word – If they continue harassing and bullying others stop hanging out with them.

You might lose a friend but this may be for the best. Standing by idly as one of your friend harasses someone else makes you just as bad as him or her.

When your friends are being mean, do something. (Photo: (c) azdan)