Recognising And Overcoming The Fear Of Rejection

The very thought of being rejected is something that makes some recoil into the foetal position and refuse to leave home. While your reaction may not be this severe, you harm yourself by refusing to overcome this sometimes crippling fear of rejection.

This fear has a root with two branches: fear of not being accepted by others for who you are and a lack of self-confidence.

Recognising your fear of rejection

1. You may lack assertiveness – You may not speak up for yourself or your principles. You are afraid of sticking out as a sore thumb, should your opinion differ from that of others.

    

2. You may have trouble forming or developing relationships – You have few or no real relationships due to the constant apprehension that someone will not accept who you are and so you keep a mask on to hide the real you. This continues the vicious cycle as people may shun you as they sense you are not being genuine.

    

3. You may yield to peer pressure easily – You would give in even to activities you do not enjoy because you wish to be accepted.

    

4. You may be feeling discontent with your life – There may be unhappiness with your life, lack of friends and other symptoms of this fear. However, there may also be a lack of a desire to take the steps necessary to move past this unhappiness.

    

5. Your development is undermined – Areas of your life, academic, professional, social or relationship, may be seriously underdeveloped. You refuse to take the risk associated with progressing in either of these areas.

    

Overcoming your fear of rejection

The fear of rejection has caused many who were talented and qualified to miss out on life-changing opportunities. It restricts your development as the negative thoughts associated with the fear stifle creativity and courage. Here are some suggestions that may help you avoid living with regret.

1. Build your self-confidence – This fear is often motivated by a lack of confidence in one’s own ability and worth. Realise your worth and qualities and that you are equally entitled to success as anyone else.

   
   

2. Place less importance on people’s response to you – Try to place less pressure on yourself as it relates to others’ reaction to you. This way you are free to approach new situations and people as rejection would not sting as hard.

    

3. Keep a journal – This to chronicle your fear and to determine the root of the fear, whether it is lack of confidence or the need to be accepted. State the steps that you will take to overcome your fear. Start with a goal, whether it is personal, professional, social or otherwise. Then measure the progress that you make and readjust as necessary.

    

4. Take small steps – It is important to take the plunge and place yourself in situations where you can possibly be rejected. This may be by approaching someone at a party, starting a conversation with someone that interests you, applying for that job or opportunity you always wanted. You may want to take small steps, so that if you are rejected, you are not driven back into your shell. However, the best way to overcome is to actually put yourself out there. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you are not rejected as much as you had believed would happen.

    

5. Learn and move on – Should you be rejected, don’t take it personally. Learn from the situation. Realise why you were rejected that one time and move on. The person may not have said no because of you, but their personal issues or other circumstances that had nothing to do with your worth or ability. Therefore, as hard as it sounds let it go and put yourself out there once more. This is the best way to learn and grow.

    

If you let go of your fear of rejection, you will release yourself to live a life free from regret.