The Truth About Soul Mates Part 1

In life, there is a road we all must take (well if we are normal that is); this road is ridiculously long, at times incredibly bumpy, and many of us never survive to see the end of it. Of course, I am talking about the road called relationships.

Now my intention, quite simply, is to be your guide – a map of sorts that you can refer to from time to time, for most likely you will need one. For there is nothing in life more complex and frustrating while at the same time being absolutely rewarding than exploring this age-old path with someone you care about.

However, one should be wary, for things can go bad quite quickly – hearts are broken, tear ducts are overworked etc.

One reason for such unhappy endings, I believe, might be the fact that people tend to possess certain misconceptions about love. Most of these flawed presumptions generally are not in any way the result of our personal doing, but simply a result of the times and the world in which we grew up (I will explain in a bit).

Now perhaps the biggest misconstrued ideal a person can possess as far as relationships go, I believe, is this whole thing about soul mates.

Now stop.

Stray away from what I’m saying for a bit and allow your mind to wander – think about how much this ideal (called a soul mate) dictates with an iron fist your thoughts, your dreams, your fantasies and ultimately your romantic future. Think about how much time we spend searching, yearning and wanting for that ideal person that we will live ‘happily ever after’ with.

The simple fact of the matter is this ideal is so damn powerful that we choose all of our possible and future romantic interests based on this pre-fashioned perfect little idea of who we want him or her to be. Now what is wrong with this?

Really and truthfully in and of itself nothing is wrong with this. (I mean it gives us something to hope for and that is never a bad thing.)

So again, I ask – what is wrong with this?

Well to explain it let us look at the wonderful tale of ‘Cinderella’ – within this story, the protagonist (Cinderella) goes to a Royal Ball (we’d call it a fete) and meets a prince. Cindi and this prince share one dance and from that (yes one damn dance) sparks fly and they suddenly know they are meant to be together blah blah blah.

Now we generally begin watching and reading about stories such as these from very young, and nothing is wrong with that (I mean from young it shows us that there is actually good in this world), and it could even be said that many of us are better people because we were exposed to fairy tales such as the said ‘Cinderella’, ‘Snow White,’ ‘Beauty and the Beast’ etc.

The great big issue here is that also from very young, this basic tale of someday meeting our soul mate and living ‘happily ever after’; no stress, no drama, no cheating, no quarrelling, no feeling like you just want to kill that person sometimes, none of that just ‘happily ever after', and we actually grow up expecting it to work out like that.

Believe me when I say, it nearly never does.

Now in the real world, what actually happens is people meet, they get to know each other, they quarrel, fight, break-up, make-up, laugh, cry – and sometimes (hopefully) through this long arduous process fall deeply in love. Then someone decides to pop the question, so they get married, where they continue this process of giving and taking as they try to cement their lives together.

In life when you expect perfection (which is exactly what this whole soul mate thingy is) you are almost always disappointed, because very few things are perfect (especially relationships).

The reality of the situation is that relationships are difficult and require a much more realistic concept – WORK (lots and lots and lots and lots of it).

Happiness is rarely simply just stumbled upon; it must almost always be searched for, but not in the way you may think (to be explained a bit later).

Now you might be wondering just what in the hell is this idiot going on about?

And the answer to that is this:

I do not believe in soul mates, what I do believe in is COMPATIBILITY which we will explore at a later date, but for now I beg, don’t just swallow wholly anything that was said; chew it for a while, analyse, savour or reject its flavour, note your points and return armed and ready to either rebuke me and my farce of an article or agree with what has been said.

Until next time...

This has been Pu Dekcuf.