Building Trust In The Age Of Facebook

While trust is considered the lifeblood of any relationship, it is the hardest thing to maintain. Trust is hard to gain but easy to lose.

The digital age has placed trust under great scrutiny and dealt a hard blow to the respect for privacy that goes hand in hand with trust in a relationship. While social networking and sharing sites are good for connecting with friends and loved ones near and far, they leave you vulnerable to cyber stalkers, even if it is your sweetheart.

Some women are natural sleuths. They can do simple things like going through pockets, or reading text messages to extreme things like following or co-ordinating unannounced visits to their partner’s homes. This natural tendency to snoop is enhanced by readily available pictures, captions and additional information on websites such as Facebook, Hi-5, MySpace and Twitter.

Acting in this way may alleviate your fears that he is not cheating, however, they are great ways to push your love away. He may not be cheating but you lose your love because he feels that you have violated his trust in you and you have disrespected him by trying ‘to catch him out’. These attempts at snooping can demoralise him and sabotage an otherwise healthy relationship.

There are ways to build your trust and act in a respectable way towards the one you love:

1. Avoid cyber-snooping - Do not add his friends on these sites with the hope that you may find an incriminating picture or caption that would show he can’t be trusted. This makes it obvious that you are trying to find out dirt on him, especially if they are not in your inner circle. This will cut off honest communication between you two and start a vicious cycle of distrust.

2. Respect yourself- Treat yourself (body, mind and soul) with the love and attention it deserves. Take care to make sure your needs are met and that you are fulfilled as a person. This will build your confidence and the respect of your partner and enable you to treat your partner with respect as well.

3. Set limits for your relationship – Together with your partner, decide what is acceptable in your relationship. He will not have his friends follow you nor will you search through his cell-phone; uphold your end of the bargain.

4. Treat your partner as you would want him to treat you –Treat your partner with the same level of respect and love that you expect to be treated.

5. Resist the urge to control – There is the tendency to try and control situations. However, the more you try and control a human being the more that person will push against the pressure that is being placed on him.

6. Foster open and honest communication –Let there be no secrets in your relationship. Foster a culture of open honest communication with your partner without judgement or recrimination. Be open with your partner about your feelings, decisions and issues you face. Listen as he tries to do the same with you.

Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites make it easier to check on your mate, to stalk and to find incriminating evidence to use against your partner. However, if this is what you feel the need to do maybe you are not to be in a relationship with that person. Cyber stalking only breeds resentment, which eats away at your relationship. Instead, consider practising the above tips to building a strong relationship based on trust.