His Female Friend Was Always In The Way

Dear Lisa Love,

I just dumped my boyfriend and I don't know if I made the right decision. I love him very much and I thought we could have a future together. We even wanted to get married after I finish studying at community college. But as much as we love each other, things were far from perfect.

He could never trust me and was suspicious of every guy I talk to. I'm a bit of a tomboy so I have a lot of male friends and you can imagine the conflict...

What really used to peeve me was that it was okay for him to have female friends. On top of that, his best friend has had a big crush on him for years – he knows this – but he would still talk to her about us, including details about our fights. I didn't like this at all because she would always make me out to be the bad guy. I know this because I've seen some of their text messages.

I broke up with him in the end because I was tired of him not trusting me and it felt like there were three people in our relationship – him, me and his best friend. But I miss him so much. Life feels so dreary without him. And I think I appreciate him more now that he's not around. I'm just so intimidated by his friend and their years of friendship. It feels like a ticking time bomb – what if he's secretly fighting feelings for her?

I don't know what to do!

- Confused

Dear Confused,

Did you realise you mentioned more negative points than positive?

It seems to me that you miss the companionship more than your boyfriend as a person.

The fact that you have so many questions about the best friend coupled with the fact that he's someone who doesn't think much of you (he doesn't think you're trustworthy), should be enough to tell you that you need to move on.

You seem to have a bright future ahead of you. Maybe you should take time to focus on you and your studies. A boyfriend relationship can always come later.

- Lisa Love