The Vicious Circle – Love, Relationships & Heartbreak

Now as you read these few words you’re probably going to be thinking that I’m some kind of sick, sad, withered, broken, pessimistic shrub of a former romantic. But before you judge me too harshly, I should state that years of interacting with the opposite sex has kind of dissected my personality somewhat. On the one hand I’m an optimistic idealist who believes in soul-mates, true love, perfect compatibility and all other such forms of fluff. But on the other side of things, I can be very dark, anarchistic and down right sad when it comes to matters of the heart. I actually don’t believe I am very unique in this regard, because I think many persons possess similar divides within them, especially when it comes to touchy feely stuff like this. But it just so happens that evidence of my split personality tends to be left all over my writing.

Thus, while reading this particular article, which may differ a bit from my other stuff, remember, there’s a better side to me (lol)

Now enough of the preamble and on to the whole point of this article

You see, I (meaning the pessimistic side of me) don’t think we ever end up with the person we really want, or if we do it's always one of those sad disproportionate kind of relationships where you care about that person way way way more than they appear to care about you, and all you get for your 110% is heart-ache, time and time again.

The reason for this is probably that he/she wasn’t really all that interested in you to begin with, but probably just saw you as just a really good friend and didn’t want to lose your friendship, so he/she, feeling sorry for you, gets involved with your dumb a**.

LOL!

Wow!

Why am I laughing?

I mean we may not think its very funny when we are in the driver’s seat (even though the steering wheel might be missing lol), but you have to admit that from a distance this situation is funny as hell; you’re there ripping your heart out and handing it over to this person gladly, and he/she is is trying to be a good friend and only getting involved with you out of pity – that’s some hilarious sh**.

But anyway back to the point, which is that all of this is beside the point, because even if you saw all of this pain coming (which you kind of do most of the time) you’d still always choose disproportionate heartache over the more Teddy Pendergrassesque “50 -50 love”.

A damn shame really!!!

Why is it that when we come across those persons that care about us as much as we care about them that deep deep down it seems just a tad bit boring?

Or even if not boring, maybe it’s just not quite as good as that bitch (ladies as you know, dog would be the male correspondent) that tore your heart out a while back, and who’s liable to do it again. If you’re ever foolish enough to go back there… which you probably are.

Why the f**k is that???

Is this the way we are wired?

To be self-destructive?

The side of me typing right now responds with a resounding yes; when you find a nice person that really cares about you it’s just a little too safe – a sure thing is never any fun (don’t quote me lol).

So armed with these words of wisdom (lol) your subconscious self beckons for the canine and as such, you get your sh** ripped to shreds… again.

When the dust settles, and the blood and guts dry up, you’re left there, probably with a whole bunch of ‘issues’ and ‘baggage’ all ready and raring to screw with the next nice, currently naive person that comes your way.

But you see, deep down we probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

At school while doing geometry, I always found the circle to be so dull and sleep inspiring, but add some teeth and a bad attitude however,

And I’m fascinated

And we’re all fascinated…

Until the next meeting

This has been Pu Deckuf