How To Compromise In A Relationship

Last time we showed that compromise is important for the survival of even the strongest relationships. However, compromise is not the easiest concept for a "strong-headed" person to wrap their head around. There is some aspect of sacrificing what the individual wants to achieve for what is best for the relationship.

The following ideas are designed to help you and your partner compromise effectively in your relationship:

1. Don’t make decisions based on your emotions – Whether the compromise to be made is over big or small issues, it is always best to leave your emotions out of the negotiations. Emotions cloud our judgement and, in certain cases, allow us to believe we need things that we do not need. Therefore, always try to contemplate the issue with a rational perspective. You may need to, if possible, walk away from and come back to the discussions later if you find that you are becoming irrational and emotional. Restart the discussions when both parties are able to talk calmly and reasonably about the compromise to be made.

2. Evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of all the available options. Together sit and discuss the benefits of each option to the relationship and what each partner will have to give up. Discuss how this will move the relationship forward or backward and how the one making the sacrifice will benefit as well from the compromise. This will help develop a spirit of co-operation in the relationship.

3. Let your goal be the advancement of the relationship. The more you view yourselves as two individuals rather than a coherent unit the chances of compromise being made is reduced. Thus, always maintain a position of working for what is the best for the unit. In strong relationships, your needs will be met because if someone loves you they want what’s best for you. Therefore, it should make it easier for you to sacifice some wants to ensure that there is smooth sailing in the relationship.

4. Always keep the lines of communication open. There is nothing that kills the spirit of compromise in a relationship than two people who refuse to speak fairly to each other about their intentions and issues. Your partner may be doing something that upsets you and you keep that to yourself assuming that he should know better. If you don’t say anything, he does not know it bothers you. The resentment builds in you towards him and eventually comes to an unpleasant head. If you had calmly sat down and spoken to him and showed that while you appreciate him, this action he does drives you crazy, you too could come to a compromise that fits you both and saves the relationship undue stress.

Compromise is not the bad word that it is made out to be. It is essential to long-term survival of our relationships and by consciously making the effort to compromise you are showing unconditional love and support for your partner who would return said love and support.