How To Make Great Friends
Do you have any friends? Are you sure? A true friend is a person with whom there is strong liking, mutual appreciation, support and understanding.
- It is possible to have friends across the age spectrum although people typically have most friends in their own age group. However, there are many who count among their friends, a range of older people – from grandparents to past teachers. Older people can serve as valuable friends for young people because of the wisdom and experience they are able to bring to bear upon decision-making.
Is it time for new friends?
Do your friends provide:
Love and support and the psychological comfort of knowing that there are those who care, who would help you to achieve your goals, hold you accountable to maintaining your self-respect and values, and encourage you to explore and honour your interests, talents and gifts?
Another point of view or approach to reasoning that can help you solve your problems, whether they are emotional, social or academic? For example, you may be weak in a subject area in which your friend is strong and vice versa. You can help each other in understanding the material or by offering study tips.
Mutual offering of practical help, such as the lending of a book needed for a class already taken?
Opportunities to build long-lasting bonds that provide support not just to the individual but to the families of each person? Extended friendship networks have helped to provide support to students going overseas to study. Many times relatives of a friend back home have given support to students going to new countries to pursue their life’s goals.
Opportunities for career development? Many joint-ventures have been started among friends, whether it is two hairdressers who knew each other from training programmes, T-shirt manufacturers who started their project from their high school’s art room, or university colleagues who started their business through a project in Information Technology. The list is endless.
Where are my friends?
You can make friends through:
Other friends - many making the transition from one school to another have friends or acquaintances from their previous schools there and the bond tends to grow stronger in the new institution. Oftentimes, where such friends have friendships from other environments – whether church or community – who are also now attending the new school, these may become your friends by association.
Joining Clubs – of existing interests, or of new interests which you want to explore. Joining particular clubs or associations helps you to find others with whom you share important values.
Responding to advertisements around the school or campus for volunteers.
Attending orientation or welcome activities at your new school.
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- All your friendships need not be made at school. You may want to join activities outside of school and you will discover that the common bond of shared interests provides a rich field for developing friendships while developing skills from music, to dance, to public-speaking, depending on what you choose.
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How do I approach new people?
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- Observe others in order to assess whether you want to approach them. You may assess whether they demonstrate the behaviours, values, interests, and values that are important to you. This process may include the assessment of other students’ attention in class, general deportment, their level of openness and friendliness to others or any other significant features or traits. These may include kindness, sensitivity to others, discipline, a fun-loving attitude, team-spirit and so on.
- In approaching others, keep an open posture and do smile! Do not fold your arms across your chest; this conveys that you are keeping yourself closed off from others. You should also maintain eye contact when speaking to new people It shows self-confidence and it also demonstrates that you have something to offer.
Some key principles to remember
Be flexible in your choice of friendships and the activities you engage in with friends, such that you try new activities which permit you to learn and grow
Maintain strong self esteem within the friendship and believe that as much as you can learn from your friends, they can also learn from you.
Choose your confidantes well and based on some proof of their trustworthiness (usually in small things at first).
Be yourself above all, and do not allow loyalty to dubious friendships to make you someone you cannot look at in the mirror with healthy self-approval.
Final Words
- I wish you well in your present friendships and in the friendships that you are yet to establish. They can be beautiful, enriching, life-long and life-changing experiences, promoting growth and development in all areas of life including the intellectual, social, emotional, interpersonal, professional, and creative. No one person may contribute to all these areas. Therefore, openness to healthy and positive diversity is an important value to keep in mind as you approach building friendships.
